Confidence brooches
A new-age idea for an age-old problem
Around this time last year, on my way home from a trip visiting a friend in Austin, I had a panic attack so severe at the airport that I couldn’t get on the plane.
While I had gotten comfortable flying alone before the pandemic, something in my brain had clearly changed. In that moment, I was a planted statue in front of the jetway: the United rep tried to get me on the plane, Gabby tried to tell me I’d be okay in the one airpod threatening to fall out of my ear — but I could absorb nothing because my head was drowning in a thousand scenarios, all of which ended in failure.
And when I explain this failure to some of you, it may even be funny. Some people who are afraid of flying are scared of say, crashing. My visions of failure are more along the lines of running up and down the aisles screaming and then exploding into soft wisps of nothing, like how Voldemort dies. That’s sort of funny, right? But in the moment it feels as real and as dangerous and as paralyzing as death. That is anxiety.
And yet, I refuse to let this experience dictate my freedom. I was once a comfortable solo flier and I know I will be again. Unfortunately, with this kind of anxiety, there’s only so much therapy and medication I can do and take before I just need to DO the thing enough to make it feel normal. So, I have a ticket to see my bestie in Austin again for next week. It is happening.
To bolster my courage before this trip, I decided to try something completely new and out of my comfort zone: improv. This was inspired by literary agent Sally Ekus, who said that improv helped with her own anxiety — and I will try anything to help with mine. I found a class that conveniently had six sessions from November to January that lead right up to my Texas trip, and, with trepidation, signed up.
This class had multiple pain points for me: It was a long drive, it had people I didn’t know, and I had to stand up and perform in front of them. So before I went to the first class, I decided to pop on one of the brooches I’ve been collecting. (I started buying brooches in Paris and continued collecting them at estate sales at home because they’re small and cute and make me happy.) While I was plenty anxious for my first class, something about that little brooch on my outfit gave me a boost.
As soon as I arrived at class, people commented on the brooch, breaking the ice and getting me out of my head. It became my signature, and each class I came in with a new one — a new conversation piece to discuss if I was drowning in my own inner monologue. Just a silly little pin did all that.
Now whenever I have to do anything that makes me a bit nervous, I put on a cute outfit and a brooch — and while this certainly isn’t a medical recommendation — anyone with anxiety will know that any little bit helps.
You better bet I’ll be wearing one on my flight on Thursday. And while I know, rationally, I can save myself from my own brain, maybe someone will strike up a conversation about my brooch and those visions of Voldemort wisps will slowly fade away.
Confidence brooches
If you’re unsure how to style a confidence brooch, I tend to put them on the collar of shirts, sweaters, or blazers. For the more oversized ones, I pin them to the chest area. But get creative. This is your anxiety party. I mean confidence party.
Want to join me in the confidence brooch party? I put together a collection of ones I love. Some of my favorites are from a French brand Macon & Lesquoy, but I’ve also been loving finding vintage ones from resale sites and estate sales. Museum shops often have cool ones too. I got a great one at a botanical garden in Salt Lake City! They’re also really fun to pick up on your travels because they don’t take up much space.
From my jewelry organizer, it seems I still have plenty of room for more.
This and that
It’s February 1, do you have your v-day gifts ready? If not, check out my gift guide.
I can’t wait to make this sweet potato and chickpea salad by fellow Substacker Alexis deBoschnek.
A cookbook I’m excited about: Snacking Dinners by substacker Georgia Freedman. You can pre-order it here.
A matte lipstick for a cause (chosen by you). This tagline: A bold lip is good. A bold stance is better.” So good.
I was recently influenced to buy these anti-aging patches. It is hard being a woman on social media, fully inundated every day with “your wrinkles will go away magic” all the time. So I bought these and they made me break out. So, save your money.
Thank you so much for reading Rel’s Recs. I hope by my next newsletter, I’ll have fully survived (and enjoyed!!) my trip to Austin with lots of fun new recipes and stories to share. In the meantime, dive into the confidence brooch world, and let me know how it goes.
XO,
Rel
PS. When you click my links, I may get a commission! That’s nice.
If you are struggling with anxiety or depression, please know that you are not alone. There are countless professional medical resources out there to help. Here are just a few:
That hedgehog is adorable!
so fun!!! i love the rainbow one