When I was growing up, there was a lot of talk about inner strength. You’re so strong, people would say. I understood this was a compliment. Fortitude, determination, stick-to-itiveness. These were all things I strived for. And yet, when it came to actual physical strength, something wasn’t the same.
While it was good to exude inner strength, it wasn’t good, for example, in ballet, to appear physically strong. (Be strong but don’t look it would be optimal here.) This was something I struggled with — or something I was told I struggled with because I had muscular legs. In a ballet class where I couldn’t have been older than 10, I was “Big Ariel,” while the other Ariel in class who was skinnier was “Little Ariel.” I was constantly told I needed to lengthen my muscles. Long and lean. Long and lean.
As a teenager I asked a ballet teacher how I could make my calves smaller. He had a real opportunity here to remind me that my calves are the muscles th…
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