Boston Ballet and any organization and the social environment that involves young children should be held accountable for not knowing or knowingly providing an unhealthy psychological and social environment for its students. The boards, teachers, parents, donors, audiences and news reporters have always looked the other way until a tragic event happens to a premier dancer. To train for and be judged on skills is normal in any athletic arena, but to be judged, scorned, rated on body type is cruel. Especially, during childhood and adolescence when the person is extremely vulnerable to social pressure and acceptance. I am sorry that I tried to provide only positive support and did not aggressively try to stop the negative experiences. Amen for your strength and perseverance in overcoming negative past experiences. Love daddio
Love you! I think it was probably really hard and we were all very swept up in a cycle that expects these types of things. It all felt very normal. When no one suggests questioning the behavior, how do you know to? Especially, when as a parent, you have a lot of other things going on. I don’t blame you obviously. This is a systemic issue and was perpetuated by other people more strongly. I appreciate your support as always. You are and always have been a really good dad!
My beautiful, sweet and lovely Ariel - I remember this and it enraged my then and now (I am Ariel's auntie). Your openness about this is amazing and I know will help others. This was just beautifully written.
This hit a nerve! My calf muscles were also big, and eventually I stopped getting the good solos and good roles because I was not wispy enough. I’m glad my daughter has taken to jazz instead of ballet so this won’t be such an issue for her. (I will point out that you’re the only one in that photo who is stable on the box of your point shoes! I hope they told you you had good feet.)
Ugh I’m sorry. It’s such a hard way for a young person to learn they aren’t “enough.” I hope your daughter is finding joy in dance!! And I’m glad you’ve reconnected with it in a joyful way too. And thank you - the feet were always fine but the body was always going to be a nonstarter. Once I left Boston Ballet, things got better. ❤️ But these things stick with you so I’m just trying to work through it as best I can!
This was so beautifully written. I so appreciate your vulnerability and relate deeply!!! Proud of you for doing what’s right for your body - even if it’s hard.
Boy, ballet can do it to you. In my case, I was told I couldn't join the class because I had short, curly hair (a "Jew-fro") and could not make a bun. I hated my hair and felt so "other". Thank you for sharing this and remember that your strength is one of the many, many things for which you are respected and loved.
Thank you for sharing this, it’s hard to be vulnerable and I’m glad you found your way to giving your body what it needs. ❤️ The first time I remember wondering if my body shape was bad was in a ballet class. When my daughter was interested in ballet I called the school and made them talk to me about how they speak to kids about bodies. I have to admit I was relieved when she wanted to stop. I ended up finding joy in dance again tap dancing with a teacher whose philosophy was that every body deserves to have fun dancing to good music.
You’re such a good mama. And I’m really glad you found a safe space for yourself too. I need to find an adult tap class around here. That sounds really fun!
Since the possibility of exercise is for various reasons mostly denied me, I've found that "Joint-Flex" (available on Amazon but seldom in stores) is very effective in ameliorating knee pain and pain in general.
I learned a lot from this post re: muscle appearance for ballet. The (female) dance majors I knew at Juilliard in the 1960s, would have been hard put to make it in the world you describe.
I just came to say happy anniversary and got this beautiful essay instead, what a gift to us.
😭 thank you, love. That means so much
I love this thank you for sharing - I hope there are more of these special editions!
Thank you ❤️
You’re beautiful inside and out! 💪🏼
Thank you for being my 💪🏼 inspiration ❤️
Boston Ballet and any organization and the social environment that involves young children should be held accountable for not knowing or knowingly providing an unhealthy psychological and social environment for its students. The boards, teachers, parents, donors, audiences and news reporters have always looked the other way until a tragic event happens to a premier dancer. To train for and be judged on skills is normal in any athletic arena, but to be judged, scorned, rated on body type is cruel. Especially, during childhood and adolescence when the person is extremely vulnerable to social pressure and acceptance. I am sorry that I tried to provide only positive support and did not aggressively try to stop the negative experiences. Amen for your strength and perseverance in overcoming negative past experiences. Love daddio
Love you! I think it was probably really hard and we were all very swept up in a cycle that expects these types of things. It all felt very normal. When no one suggests questioning the behavior, how do you know to? Especially, when as a parent, you have a lot of other things going on. I don’t blame you obviously. This is a systemic issue and was perpetuated by other people more strongly. I appreciate your support as always. You are and always have been a really good dad!
We welcome your muscles and have a full set of weights for you to enjoy during your next visit!
Thanks, Didi!
My beautiful, sweet and lovely Ariel - I remember this and it enraged my then and now (I am Ariel's auntie). Your openness about this is amazing and I know will help others. This was just beautifully written.
Love you and thank you ❤️❤️
Poignant and beautiful, Ariel.
Thank you, papi ❤️
This hit a nerve! My calf muscles were also big, and eventually I stopped getting the good solos and good roles because I was not wispy enough. I’m glad my daughter has taken to jazz instead of ballet so this won’t be such an issue for her. (I will point out that you’re the only one in that photo who is stable on the box of your point shoes! I hope they told you you had good feet.)
Ugh I’m sorry. It’s such a hard way for a young person to learn they aren’t “enough.” I hope your daughter is finding joy in dance!! And I’m glad you’ve reconnected with it in a joyful way too. And thank you - the feet were always fine but the body was always going to be a nonstarter. Once I left Boston Ballet, things got better. ❤️ But these things stick with you so I’m just trying to work through it as best I can!
This was so beautifully written. I so appreciate your vulnerability and relate deeply!!! Proud of you for doing what’s right for your body - even if it’s hard.
Big hugs. Sending you love.
Boy, ballet can do it to you. In my case, I was told I couldn't join the class because I had short, curly hair (a "Jew-fro") and could not make a bun. I hated my hair and felt so "other". Thank you for sharing this and remember that your strength is one of the many, many things for which you are respected and loved.
Love you, Ima!!
Thank you for sharing this, it’s hard to be vulnerable and I’m glad you found your way to giving your body what it needs. ❤️ The first time I remember wondering if my body shape was bad was in a ballet class. When my daughter was interested in ballet I called the school and made them talk to me about how they speak to kids about bodies. I have to admit I was relieved when she wanted to stop. I ended up finding joy in dance again tap dancing with a teacher whose philosophy was that every body deserves to have fun dancing to good music.
You’re such a good mama. And I’m really glad you found a safe space for yourself too. I need to find an adult tap class around here. That sounds really fun!
I would love to tap again! I did it all through middle and high school and stopped in college.
Ohhhh let’s both find a class. My neighbor does an adult tap class and loves it.
Since the possibility of exercise is for various reasons mostly denied me, I've found that "Joint-Flex" (available on Amazon but seldom in stores) is very effective in ameliorating knee pain and pain in general.
I learned a lot from this post re: muscle appearance for ballet. The (female) dance majors I knew at Juilliard in the 1960s, would have been hard put to make it in the world you describe.